When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
