i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
