If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They took my balls.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
