Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
