The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
