I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
