so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
