Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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