I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
