Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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