I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize