are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I need water and some morals
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
