I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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