Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
