he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
