Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
