I just pynch a tree in the face
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
