I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
