Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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