We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize