I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
