At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
