Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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