she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
