ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
