We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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