so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
