Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
