the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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