so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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