I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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