Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
