I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
