i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize