im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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