i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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