All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
