I think i peed on brittanys purse
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
