Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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