What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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