That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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