The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
