we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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