You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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