hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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