Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
