part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
