so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
COCAINE IS GR8
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize