she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize