He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
