If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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