what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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