I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
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