I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize