Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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