Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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