Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
