so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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