sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Porn is love you can see.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
