before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
